Embrace your nub.
That was the message Kevin Laue, an exceptional former Division I basketball player born with a left arm that ends just below the elbow, brought to the students and staff of Boonton High School on Oct. 2.
As a child, Laue loathed the half arm, which he referred to as his “nub,” not only because he was bullied but it caused people to doubt his abilities. The nub was the reason he did not make the school basketball team as a seventh grader despite being 6 foot 4. That snub, related to the nub, hurt him deeply.
“My coach told me basketball was for two-armed people,” Laue recalled.
However, another coach, Patrick McKnight, who headed the Tri-Valley Outlawz, told Laue to view his handicap in a positive way and advised him to make the most of his arm, which ceased developing when circulation was cut off by the umbilical cord. McKnight thought he should use it to his advantage, perhaps even as a weapon, on the court.
“I have the power of the nub,” bellowed the red-headed Laue, who attended Manhattan College on a basketball scholarship. “It’s strong and powerful. I began to nub people after that. I used to hate my nub. It was the epitome of everything I hated about my life and myself. I had no confidence but I learned that I needed to love myself and embrace my nub.”
Laue’s childhood was far from typical. His parents divorced and, with that, he and his siblings split their time between the residences of their mother and father. When Laue was 10, his father passed away.
“I wore a mask after he died,” he recalled. “I hid things.”
Fatherless, the brunt of ridicule and lacking confidence, Laue devoted himself to academics and athletics after not making the junior high school squad. Going into 10th grade, Laue, now 6 foot 11, focused on improving his strength and endurance with a daily routine. Each day, he lifted a bag of bricks in his backyard 100 times and did pushups. Laue ran 400 miles per month. Laue was a nationally-ranked player at the conclusion of 10th grade.
“I changed my routine,” Laue explained. “I’d eat a snack and watch Netflix. I took something I felt bad about and replaced it. You are your routine. If you don’t have a healthy one, you won’t make it. Everyone wants something. It’s a universal thing.”
Laue, an inspirational speaker, had many messages for the audience, including being kind and supportive to others. He told of his memories of Josh, a high school classmate who had a body the size of a baby and required a special cart to lay on.
“I put a sheet on a stick and attached it to Josh’s cart,” said Laue, a native of California. “We went on the football field and he became the mascot. He became popular. It was like a rock in water. The kindness spread. If we don’t all spread that love, who will?”
He also mentioned a special needs girl who was made fun of while dancing. Laue noticed and went and danced with her.
“She was rocking out and people were laughing at her,” Laue said. “It was sad. She actually told me that I danced funny. If you’re going to be a leader, step up. Put a smile on someone’s face. You never know what kind of mask they’re wearing. I can go to my 10-year reunion with my head held high.
“Everyone wants to be appreciated but people are slow to appreciate others. Support people. Be the light and everyone will be drawn to you. And, remember, you are what your habits are. Control or alter your habits and your life will change in three weeks.”